i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
