I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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