ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i dont even know how to be here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
