Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
