So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
