A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
