I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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