well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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