Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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