How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
