Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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