I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
