So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
