im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
