U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
