Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
