I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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