You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
