I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
