she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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