We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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