just come out here and I will go home with you...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize