everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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