Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize