just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize