No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
