The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
