hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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