I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
