I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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