random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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