sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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