Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
