Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
