I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
