The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
