You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
