You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
