i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Two words: blizzard sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
