her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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