I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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