I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
