He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
