Can Purell be used as lube?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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