i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
