the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
