I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
