Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
