and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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