Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
