it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
