can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
