shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
