There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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