We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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