oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
