you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
