No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sext me about skeletons
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
